Long overdue review of Trainwreck, the movie.. much too dirty!

After finally seeing the rom/com/chick flick Trainwreck, (heavily sprinkled with pro-athletes in supporting roles..in order to blatantly lure in more boyfriends and husbands and male sidekicks etc.. for even MORE box office $$$$) ...long after it has come and gone from theaters... and long after it has been out on DVD a whiles... my personal review is in. And it is not so good.
Unfortunately this movie is much too dirty for me. I'm not talking about off color language or offensive sexist, racist or homophobic jokes, I am talking about harmful bacteria and antibiotic resistant strains of filthy microorganisms, such as staph...multiple strains of bacilli, or noro virus to name a couple of possible pathogens.
I take great issue with one particular segment of the movie, when Amy Schumer's character's dad, played by Colin Quinn (now an older dude- making me feel REALLY old as he was originally from my MTV watching days of long gone youth) who is unnecessarily living in a nursing home, falls.. and gets a bloody gash on his forehead. The facility can't seem to respond adequately to this event, so the boyfriend character, who is a doctor, and who is just visiting the nursing home, and who is trying to impress his new girlfriend, stitches it up with his handy doctor kit that he carries everywhere, even on his day off! This is done against the patient's consent to boot.
I am all for good Samaritan acts, especially in emergencies, but what kind of surgeon would perform this service, especially when not having privileges or any professional role at the facility, and who does not even bother to superficially clean or disinfect the area treated, or even assess the patient for a head injury?
He just starts stitching up the wound, likely introducing infectious bacteria to the circulatory system with each stitch... yuck. And if the fall was on the floor of a long term nursing facility the possibilities of strains of organisms are endless!
I take issue with this blatant display of medical malpractice and poor technique. Obviously there is a conflict of interest= trying to impress the girl at the expense of the patient! wrong! We need a medical ethics consultant for Judd Apatow's next endeavor..
But I did enjoy the finale with the cheerleaders! And the cameos. Go LeBron!

Rekindling the old flame

What better news to receive right before the holidays than the stories surfacing about
Courtney Cox (on the heels of a broken engagement to a younger man), now dating again (old flame), Michael Keaton?
This mended/recycled/reused/repurposed relationship is bigger news than the reunification of East and West Germany.
It is far more powerful than old stories of Michael Bolton and Nicollette Sheridan getting back together.(and splitting yet AGAIN)

And while we are at this juncture, can we just take a few moments of silence and remember when Michael Bolton and Ashley Judd were an item?

Bu

But I of course digress...
After the wildly popular, critically acclaimed and successful Birdman, maybe... just maybe Michael Keaton feels centered, calmer, ready to settle down... and has realized that Courtney is the only woman for him.. but wait a minute....
Now we are hearing the stories in the press that they are NOT dating... despite reports.. and the other strange rumors that Courtney is dating and then NOT dating former Friends costar Matthew Perry?
What can we believe anymore? What is real? What is imaginary?
Were these stories simply planted to off set uneccessary embarrassment about a broken engagement?
Are they true... but now being squashed by publicists?

Despite all the confusion and conflicting stories/information, we can ALWAYS forever enjoy these memories of Courtney's small screen romances and moments:

this is what 61 looks like

61 is the new 21... this is what being in your sixties can look like for all of us!
Rocking out at your ex husband's (Billy Joel) concert, wearing your new boyfriend's (John Mellencamp) tshirt...here is the Dorian Grey of supermodels, out on the town, with her iPhone, cool outfit, and AARP card in hand, showing us that aging is a concept! Perhaps in her attic in her estate in Montauk, NY, she is hiding a portrait of herself that looks like this..... and it just gets older and dustier and more deeply lined, while she gets younger...

Maybe in 30 years from now we will see an ageless 76 year old Gwyneth Paltrow, rocking out at ex husband Chris Martin's show while wearing a Harry Styles Tshirt!

test audiences demand a new ending

The Pope's visit to the US was alot like watching The Fight Club or the Sixth Sense. A hitoric visit and a story so completely fascinating and absorbing, interesting and unique.. until... the VERY END of this tale when things go horribly wrong.
The Pope started off his east coast tour by inspiring us with very simple sentences and statements- mostly about how to treat one another and how we must care for the most very vulnerable. His words were so simple, basic and true, and yet so profound at the same time.. much like the finale of Bill and Ted's excellent adventure filled with quotes such as "be excellent to each other, and party on dudes"...or "we are all just dust in the wind" (yes from another source of course)... he really got us thinking and feeling....but then.... OH the horrible ending.. the Pope meets with Kim Davis... test audiences everywhere are revolting and demanding a new ending. this is unacceptable! I demand a re-write.

Bean there, done that

Feeling so OLD now that Frances Bean Cobain is grown up and married.. how did this happen? how is John Stamos playing a grandfather on TV? how did I get to be so old?

5 possible explanations for today's style choices of Joe Davis, the husband of Kim Davis, at her rally with Mike Huckabee:

There is certain fascination with the husband of Kim Davis, Joe Davis, who showed up in his overalls today to rally with Republican nominee Mike Huckabee. Besides questioning their intentions, one cannot help but just say wow that is some presentation. How did he show up like that and consciously choose to wear such an interesting outfit?

Thinking it over, here are some possible explanations:

1. He is in a Dexy's Midnight Runners tribute band called “Midnight Run” and he got the call that Kim was getting out of jail when he was at a dress rehearsal, so he put on a long sleeve shirt and kept the overalls, and got there as fast as he possibly could.
2. Like most men, he has trouble coordinating outfits without his wife's help... and with her in jail.. well his style really fell through the cracks. Normally she has him in indigo denim and black Armani t-shirts.
3. He is in an amateur theater production of Of Mice and Men and he came straight from rehearsal. He is of course portraying Lennie Small.
4. Along the same lines as above, he is possibly in a local dinner theater production of Oaklahoma! as villian Jud Fry.
5. He is working with Annie Lebowitz on a depression era/dustbowl black and white artistic coffee table book, reinacting the plight of displaced farmers during the dust bowl migration of the 1930's.

Rethinking Bond

James Bond series Writer Anthony Horowitz (not to be confused with consumer advocate David Horowitz) is trying to apologize for comments made about disliking the idea of actor Idris Elba portraying James Bond. Much like trying to unfry an egg or clean up a massive oil spill, it's not really happening. He probably just wants Bond to remain white, although I am sure audiences would love dashing Idris Elba as Bond.

This story brings up another related topic.. how did Sean Connery ever get to play bond? He is WAYYY too street to be the suave, sophisticated lady killer in a tuxedo /and then quick change into a diving suit- storied hero. This scrappy kid growing up in Edinburgh working as a milkman and then joining the navy, getting tatoos when it was sort of a daring thing to do... well how could he play Bond? OH YEAH, these are actors portraying characters!! something that needs some reminding perhaps?????

And what about Elba's cool collected and classy response to ill conceived comments? Totally and completely in the style of 007 of course!

The REAL reason why Anna Duggar stayed with Josh...

Would you rather have your man indulging in Ashley Madison or Dolly Madison? The answer may surprise you. 93% of women surveyed chose Ashley over Dolly. It's really quite simple, relationships can be saved by Ashley Madison accounts, just like Anna and Josh Duggar, who are in hiding together after his “cheating scandal”.

To backtrack a bit, the Duggars (and the Kardashians and the real housewives) are usually not deserving of any writings or thoughts or jokes or discussion. Much like a toddler having yet another tantrum or that drunk inappropriate relative at Thanksgiving dinner, or that coworker who talks in detail about her surgery, they must be ignored AND taught that their behavior is unacceptable. Giving negative attention to their antics only encourages them to do more and more of the same.. but here is the exception:

A quick discussion will be had about Anna and Josh Duggar. There is a very explosive and awe inspiring reason behind why Anna Duggar is sticking it out with disdained and scorned husband Josh Duggar. Basically, thanks to his Ashley Madison account, their relationships is totally renewed and “born again” Why? How? Very simple.

Josh was simply getting tired of his lady, they had been together too long- sort of like a worn out recording of his favorite hymm. So while she was sleeping he got his ipad in bed and accessed Ashley Madison's website and here is the posting he read:

"If you like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain
If you're not into yoga, if you have half a brain
If you like rough sex with a porn star, in the dunes of the cape
I'm the love that you've looked for, PM me, and escape"
So as you can imagine, he couldn't believe what he was reading..someone who liked the same stuff he did..so he answered and they planned to meet...and while he was waiting to meet this mystery lady in person for their little tryst,
with high hopes of course.. she walked in the place-
Josh knew her smile in an instant and he knew the curve of her face
It was his own lovely lady (Anna Duggar!) and she said, "Oh, it's you"
And they laughed for a moment, and they said, "I never knew".



That is why Anna is still with Josh!!! Let's hope these two kids make it work- I think they will!

Previewing and unpeeling the Unauthorized Full House Movie and various reflections of infinity..

.

Never has an entertainment event brought more anticipation and excitement than the Unauthorized Full House Movie.. more than the Unauthorized Saved by the Bell Movie, The William and Kate movie of 2011, or any prequel or sequel to Sex and the City, or even unsubstantiated rumors about a Breakfast Club reunion.. this IS it.. the ultimate Superbowl of made for TV movies...

Viewing on you tube, the scarce crumbs of footage available to the public, one cannot wait to delve entirely and completely into the rich material. Scenes where the unknown actors personify archetypal characters Uncle Jesse, patriarch Danny Tanner, and sidekick Joey Gladstone are so bad... and yet so good at the same time.

Let's begin with the setting: the set itself is extraordinary...an exact replica of the original EXCEPT for juxtaposition of the stairs...they are of course on the wrong side of the living room. WHY?

And next: the characters: These actors do not even really closely resemble the real actors/ TV characters much at all. How is this possible with so many tens of thousands of out of work actors in Hollywood, waiting tables, doing odd jobs, and willing to do just about anything to get noticed? There had to be better casting choices than the ones we see here. That is a superficial but valid observation. They don't really look like them, but yet still personify them wholly and completely. The seemingly bad casting was in fact, intentional.

Upon deep analysis and shot by shot examination of the available footage, one can only conclude that this WAS planned so very carefully and intricately.. They are like them, but they are NOT like them. They are not like them at all, but yet they ARE like them.

This leads to a controversial and unorthodox proposal and theory...the Full House Unauthorized movie is a blatant tribute to Dutch artist Escher's masterpiece, Relativity. This iconic work, appreciated disproportionately by mathematicians and scientists, has an often overlooked intrinsic philosophical value. The three gravitational pulls depicted in this work- are clearly personified by Danny Tanner, Joey Gladstone and Uncle Jessie. They are individuated yet fully integrated into the whole. The chaos depicted in actuality possesses grave order. (chaotic family life with three misfit dads and 3 sassy kids- who are in fact being raised with solid values and deep unqualified attachment).

The structure depicted in Escher's work is a version of Utopia, but the human figures are doing ordinary daily tasks. . As normal physical laws are defied, so we see stairways leading to alternate realities. Reflections and mirror images abound which support the intentional and focal misplaced staircase in our made for TV movie. The movie itself a mere reflection of the original TV show and the show is a reflection of an alternate reality... and again this leads to yet another reflection and so on... and to infinity itself.

Such ponderings are best concluded with the wisdom of William Wordsworth:

Suffering is permanent, obscure and dark, And shares the nature of infinity.

William Wordsworth

That best portion of a man's life, his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love.

William Wordsworth

10 reasons why these never ending internet articles involving lists of random information cause major annoyance:

1. Nothing new has been written, this is regurgitation of old territory/information put into a predictable format for the hopes of publishing on the web and nothing more.
2. Many items included are not really accurate and don't really fit these stories. There is a tendency to stretch the truth in order to cram the material into a list- for the sole purpose of creating a list...such as..."10 celebrities and their children who look exactly like them"... Well, maybe one or two look exactly like them- like Reese Witherspoon and her daughter, and the rest ? They do look related but that's about it.
3. This format is getting old and boring, like mad libs after a long car trip.
4. Too many ads to endure in between listings... so getting through the mediocre list is long, drawn out and tedious.
5. David Letterman's top 10, once a fun and orginal experience, has been forever ruined.
6. The format is so dumbed down that it makes any other on-line article seem sophisticated and legitimate, no matter the content. This is much like how Donald Trump makes all other Republican candidates seem dignified by comparison.
7. All of these “articles”/lists start to look the same after a while. It's like going immediately from a Lowes to a Home Depot- it feels like the same place but something is ever so slightly different.
8. These stories are everywhere in the media and won't go away, kind of like Ben Affleck's nanny.
9. Nobody learns anything from these lists, we are no better off after viewing than we were before.  The same feeling one gets after leaving a Thomas Kincaide exhibit.
10. They intend to educate us... but they just end up annoying us... anyone? Anyone?

Faux pas and wedding (un)invitations

According to Miss Manners, a wedding is YOUR special event, and the bride and groom only need to invite genuine (work) friends (not everyone at work has to be invited)... but just make sure you let everyone at work know that the wedding is small, so people won't feel snubbed. Thanks Miss Manners! When one is invited by a not so close work colleague are they perhaps relieved when you decline? I am not so sure anymore.


Much has been written and said and debated about the etiquette around wedding invitations.. as well as the issue of tip toeing around whether to invite or not to invite coworkers, or this coworker and not that coworker... when obviously the whole office/workplace can't always be invited. Feelings are bound to be hurt, awkwardness ensues. Productivity declines. Perhaps this is the real reason behind the increase in abuse of sick time by the American worker.


This issue is usually due to the known reality of budget and weddings. Friends and guests can start to look like giant $100 bills (or more) to the bride and groom once they are knee deep in wedding planning.. and let's not even mention the whole +1 issue... for gods sake do you have to bring some random date who we don't even know and you'll probably break  up with anyway and we have to pay $120 and we couldn't even invite great aunt Betty... but considering the Bridget Jones mindset of some singles at weddings, how dare you ask me to come to your special day solo and look ridiculous..digression of course... but when budget is definitely NOT an issue, such as in the case of a famous small surprise wedding the public is hearing about.. then to not be invited.. if you are a loyal coworker of let's say10 years.. and maybe a coworker who you banded together with to revolutionize fair compensation for actors on TV/salary negotiation history...well.. that just kinda hurts...it's definitely the D list as in Dissed. I guess when one says I'll be there for you, you won't necessarily be there for me (too). That is very sad indeed.  Chandler and Joey were not invited! What? Why? This is worse than the Obamas being snubbed by Wils and Kate and not being invited to the royal wedding!


This wedding which was part roast, part surprise party and part exclusive celebrity soiree, was off limits to two cast members who heard about it later. They were put in the same category as Justin Theroux's ex of 13 years who found out about the wedding after the fact! Their responses were pretty decent from what has been written in the press. Meanwhile, what was Christopher McMillan doing? hair styling or full fledged guest? what about Terry Richardson? any great shots he will give away for free? was Coco in the wedding party? The facts are spilling out slowly like syrup from a full glass bottle of Mrs. Butterworth's....

take some advice from Rick and Paulina.. and just sit back and relax...

Hot new couple alert which is causing surprise, shock, and raised eyebrows.... this is concerning sweet romantic bard Ed Shernan and hottie Nicole Scherzinger. Ed hails from the UK and Nicole from the US, and they probably really get along smashingly, going about to pubs and dinner parties and industry gatherings, etc. What's the big deal? Leave them alone! Just because Ed does not fit a certain narrow and limited idea of what is traditionally attractive should not matter one bit.
Besides, we humans are all just bundles of energy, traveling through our universe, connecting with other bundles of energy... and who really cares... I am 100% behind this couple. And if they need guidance, advice, peer counseling.. they can turn to long term lovebirds, Rick Ocasek and Paulina Porzikova.

Remember

You are not a drop in the ocean. You are the entire ocean in a drop.
Rumi

If you wish to understand the Universe, think of energy, frequency and vibration.
Nikola Tesla

Nanny diaries

Messing around with the nanny...

a tale as old as time itself.

shocking allegations that a certain oscar winning actor is "dating" his nanny are floating around.. I am not talking about Mr. Rochester, I think it is obvious who this is referring to..and seriously folks...this is the same old story we have heard again and again. Take a number! Get in line! We've heard this story before grandma!

It all started back in the 1970's when falling in love with your nanny was endorsed as totally kosher on the 70's TV show Nanny and the Professor:

Then we had "The Nanny" with Fran Drescher, we have Jude Law and his kids' nannny, Ethan Hawke who married his nanny, Robin Williams as well.  maybe Rob Lowe... and Meghan Draper started out as a temp nanny on a trip to California to Don and the kids, sort of predating the above television classic. Let's not get too excited!

getting older

Embracing getting older...we know the cliches...loving the lines on your face, feeling wise and experienced, owning your journey, etc etc etc.
OK we get it. There are some poignant moments in life when one REALLY feels the passing of time. Here is one that stands out:
Vanity Fair comes in the mail with Channing Tatum on the cover. Such excitement, such delight! What do the eyes go to first?

 the article about the queen and her corgis of course!!!(The Queen and her Corgis, a love story)... must... read...that...first.
Yes getting older and proud. Can't wait for my AARP card and Ross discount on Tuesdays for 55 and older.

Take that, Annie Lebowitz!

shocking long term togetherness

Enough of the "shocking" splits such as Miranda and Blake, Jen and Ben, (and now Gavin and Gwen) etc. These splits are hardly shocking. they are expected, anticipated and not surprising. Often the only real element of shock and surprise is "what took so long?". These stories should be replaced immediately with the REAL shocking tales of.. long term togetherness.... such as.. Tom and Rita, Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward, David Bowie and Iman, Kurt and Goldie, Kevin and Kyra.. well the list is rather short... how do they make it work? How do they still like each other so much? they take romantic vacations together? what is the big secret?? that is the BIG surprise and shock!

Brangelina goes to Subway

I can't stop daydreaming about how Brangelina and kids went to Subway recently...such major news and so much analysis... I have so many unanswered questions. Did they have the extra avocado spread for 50 cents? did they toast their sandwiches in the toaster oven, or forgo that option? did anyone have peppers? maybe Pax wanted the flatbread or the twins begged for packaged apples. Is the CEO of Subway celebrating for this unexpected PR? what about the employee who was interviewed about their visit? Was that the person who filled in for the 10th time to the flaky employee who chronically calls in sick when really hung over, and feels like why am I always filling in with no real reward, no real time off for myself... and THEN.. in walks Brangelina and then an interview with US magazine... that is the part of the story that we really need to hear about. what if you were the person who called in sick that day... sort of like a reverse correlation to those who fortfeited their tickets on the Titanic.. so much to ponder.


If I were in line behind them would I be slightly annoyed with all the orders (6 kids) of course not, I would probably faint and have to be revived. I also must wish Knox and Viv and happy 7th birthday too....

lady and the trump

We are seeing a lot of cringeworthy shenanigans of Donald Trump in the so called news lately. One should be doubtful if anyone takes him seriously and that he is none other than a mockery of himself perhaps.. a foil to make democrats look better....
Amazing how in this country a person can work hard, work honestly, and follow a true path without stepping on others....and maybe not gain much material wealth... while capitalism has allowed this guy to be extremely wealthy and worse... to be given an open forum for his misguided opinions.
This is definitely an argument against capitalism!
More outrageous than any recent blunders are
1) his hair
2) this old story from 2012 where he claims to have discovered lady gaga!!
you go Donald!!

Uncle Jesse and vintage door knobs...

So this crazy story about how John Stamos visited the Full house house in SF recently and was not recognized by the tourists who seemed to be also visiting... is really torturing me. It raises so many existential questions...Hmmm.. so what were these tourists all doing there? architectural tour? could it have been a full house pilgrimage? could they have missed uncle Jesse? can you imagine how they must feel? Much like one would feel going to Liverpool where the Beatles began and missing Sir Paul who also happened to be there... Much like visting graceland and Elvis walks right by you while you are checking out the shag rug in the living room..and there is a photo of you missing him... or going to Dollywood and missing Dolly Parton herself as she walks by..... I feel so bad for all of them.

How do you do? My name's.....MISTAH Sheffield!
OH My Godddd Mistah Jonas!!!

Amazing to watch the evolution of Nick Jonas.. from child Broadway star... beginning as a feisty Gavroche in Les Miserables..and now...to a very grown up and modern pop star of today...much like we saw with Justin Timberlake.

Nick stepped up to the job as child stage actor... with great aplomb.. as the warbling, tough but tragic street urchin Gavroche ..onstage in Les Miserables...

and then he went on to to massively popular stardom in the Disney sponsored family band.. the Jonas Brothers

180 degree turn...then back to Broadway.... as lovesick Marius this time...

And now? The somewhat shocking and unexpected grown up photo shoot, this time he is a solo artist...echoing shades of Marky Mark's Calvin Klein grey and white campaign...

What will the future bring for this talented triple threat? Broadway producer perhaps?

It is not a huge stretch of the imagination to see the uncanny resemblance between actor Charles Shaughnessy (Mr. Sheffield on The Nanny) and Nick Jonas.

One can't help but wonder...could Max Sheffield be Nick Jonas' real father? Let's examine the facts... it is common knowledge that the charater Maxwell Sheffield is a renowned Broadway producer. His main Rival? Andrew Lloyd Weber. Perhaps he got Nick the job as Garvoche in the first place.. that would be sticking it to Sir Andrew.  Secret nepotism shall we say?
He can't help but still get jealous when he sees Miss Fine flirting with another man. The real proof? check it out!

Registry alert

wow big news!!
taylor kinney and lady gaga got engaged on valentine's day! Life with Stephanie Germanotta will never be boring that is for sure!
I seriously can't wait to see them have lots of little monsters!!

think of all the gifts and registry items: (possibilities are endless):

50 shades of Teal

Forget about 50 shades of grey... what about a whole palette of soft, tropical pastels?

Feeling SO OVER the 50 shades debut on Valentine's day.. which is not exactly a celebration of bondage, but it's really for two reasons:

- remember when these two were the hottest thing on the small screen? In case the connection is not obvious, Don Johnson is Dakota Johnson's dad.

-secondly The Last Five Years is a way more important debut film.

Enough said!

One cannot help but wonder...how does mortadella,

a notable Italian sausage, orginating from charming collonaded Italian city Bologna, become what is known as Baloney?

 How does a gourmet buche de noel become a hostess ho ho?

How does a classic Burberry motif

become... a snuggie?

How does respected British lawyer, Amal Alamuddin, become... Amal... Clooney? She studied at Oxford and clerked for justice Sotomayor, but now she is hanging out with Cindy and Rande, going to Nobu and Cabo with various celebs.. I kind of wish she had kept her name because Clooney, even though it is from of course GEORGE Clooney, just sounds kind of boring and ordinary. Maybe she did this because she doesn't need to. It is the ultimate ironic power play. Sort of like Madonna's Mrs. Ritchie jacket.

 

I think back to an old favorite dive in SF, Clooneys, a real bar fly haunt..

it even had its own cigarette machine...

but somehow, I want MORE for Amal. but she can pretty much do whatever she wants- you go girl!!